“Let Us Always Meet Each Other With A Smile, For the Smile Is the Beginning of Love”
Mother Teresa
Whilst travelling by train from Schiphol airport to Hoorn in North Holland this September, something lovely happened. As is the case on most forms of public transport across the world in 2020, everyone was wearing a face mask and looking a little serious. Enter the ticket collector. As we fumbled around for our tickets, she gives us all a huge grin and announces; “It’s O.K, I am just collecting smiles”. It took a few minutes to register what she had said, but as the penny dropped, we all started smiling at each other. Her joy was contagious.
When I was in my teens, I remember reading about a habit which Dr Norman Vincent Peale[1] practised. It left an indelible mark on my brain. He had a habit of praying for strangers as he passed them. I was a shy youngster, so any advice to help connect with others was a bonus. I started utilizing this habit and noticed that invariably people would look at me and smile.
Apparently, children smile about 400 times a day whilst we adults only manage 20[2].Does this mean we have become cynical and battle weary? Have we lost our childhood joy? Perhaps, but maybe part of it has to do with being present, truly present to everything around us, to our sense of wonderment.
Sometimes, we find it hard to see anything to smile about, but if we look hard enough, we will find that the sentient world is attempting to reach out to us in subtle ways. We need to view life, from the eyes of the heart. To ground us, to let us know we are not alone. I love this excerpt from the poem “Everything is Waiting for You” by David Whyte:
“put down the weight of your aloneness and
ease into the conversation.
The kettle is singing, even as it pours you a drink.
The cooking pots have left their arrogant aloofness
and see the good in you at last.
All the birds and creatures of the world are unutterably themselves.
Everything is waiting for you”
Smiling seems to be a universal language understood by all humanity. Without the necessity of words, it extends compassion to others. When we radiate a genuine smile from the heart, I believe people receive this love. We can even distinguish a genuine smile from the heart from a Mona Lisa grin. But is it really a universal signal? Perhaps not, but I believe that if we are congruent, others pick up on this.
Apparently in some cultures, there is anecdotal evidence that, smiling may mean something quite different from popular Western acceptance of this practice. For instance, there is apparently a well -known Russian proverb which says, ‘Улыбкa, бeз пpичины – пpизнaк дypaчины’ (smiling with no reason is a sign of stupidity)[3]. However, many of my friends who have spent time in Russia, never encountered this response to their smiles. So, I guess, it depends on our individual experience. I think it is hard to generalize about this now as we live in a global village with multi-ethnicity.
Benefits of Smiling
Well, given my scientific background, I decided to examine why smiling might be good for us. Here’s what I found. In an article by Julia Layton[4], she cites interesting research carried out in 1989 by the psychologist, Dr Zajonc. He found that “when facial muscles are activated in an expression, the biochemical processes associated with those areas of the face are altered according to their temperature change. And research suggests that a cooler brain creates good emotions, while a warmer brain produces negative emotions”. So, for instance, when we smile, certain facial muscles stretch and tighten, causing the associated veins to constrict. This in turn reduces the amount of blood flowing via the carotid artery to the brain. The lower the blood volume, the lower the temperature ergo, a tendency towards happier emotions. With this evidence, the expressions, keeping a cool head and hot head, may run deeper than we think!
More recently, in an interview on NBC news[5] with, New York-based neurologist from IGEA Brain and Spine, Dr Isha Gupta, stated, that the mere act of smiling can increase levels of the ‘happy’ hormones like serotonin and dopamine in the body. This is not to say, that if you are genuinely grieving over something or someone, that changing your facial expression will alter these feelings. That would be too simplistic a view, but these are interesting findings which are worth noting. In a state of emotional neutrality, altering your facial muscles, may shift the balance one way or the other. Either into a positive or negative feeling. The emotions appear to follow where the body leads.
So, what other health benefits can we get from smiling?[6] Here are a few:
- Reduced blood pressure
- Increased endurance
- Reduced pain
- Reduced stress
- Strengthened immune system
- Relaxation Exercise on Smiling
Before doing this exercise, make sure you are in a space where you won’t be disturbed. Mute your phone to avoid distractions. If your mind wanders during this exercise, just lead it slowly back to your breath and your smile.
- Sit quietly and comfortably in a relaxed upright position
- Feel your spine supported by the back of your chair
- Gently allow your eyes to close
- Become aware of the temperature around you.
- Take a few long deep breathes in and out
- Now reax the muscles around your forehead, eyes, jaw and mouth
- Think of someone or something that makes you smile
- Now turn the corner of your lip’s outwards and slightly upwards in the form of a broad smile
- If it helps, repeat the vowel sound of a long E
- Hold this for a minute
- Relax and repeat several times
- Now visualize your heart with a large smile imprinted on it.
- Breathe into this area as the smile broadens
- Now let the smile spread through the tummy and out around the body
- You may give this feeling a colour or sound
- Turn up the intensity of this warm smile as spreads throughout your body
- Scan your body for any tension and let go smiling softly into the space
- Continue until your whole body is smiling and comfortably relaxed
Remember, the results won’t come from doing this just once. You need to practice this daily until it becomes routine like brushing your teeth. Get into the habit of smiling outwardly and inwardly. Note how you feel after day 1, then after a month of practice.
Check in with yourself a few times a day and see if you are frowning or smiling. Both can be a habit. Take stock and be aware.
- Exercise on what makes You Smile
There is only one rule with this exercise and that is, have fun with this and be as creative and colourful as you like.
- Get a pen and paper and list all the things, people, places which make you smile
- You may want to take photos of your friends and family smiling and make a collage with these
- Put up your list and or collage up in a prominent place where you can see this every day
So, in finishing this blog and closing out 2020, let me repeat these words. “Let us meet each other with a smile, for a smile is the beginning of love”.
Time to get out the basket and collect smiles.
Blessings for the year ahead from my heart to yours delivered with a smile.
[1] Peale, N.V, “The Power of Positive Thinking” Prentice Hall. 1952
[2] www.thejournal.ie/mental-health-smile-1550017-Jul2014/
[3] Krys, K et al “Be Careful Where You Smile: Culture Shapes Judgements of Intelligence and Honesty of Smiling Individuals” J Nonverbal Behav. 2016; 40:101-116.
[4] Layton, J. “Does Smiling Make You Happy?” HowStuffWorks.com. 3rd June 2009.
[5] www.nbcnews.com/better/health/smiling-can-trick-your-brain-happiness-boost-your-health-ncna822591
[6] Norwood, E “Surprising Health Benefits of Smiling” www.henryford.com. Oct 5th, 2017
